saying it out loud has made it real.Now she can't pretend that it doesnt exist.

its waiting somewhere,holding its tongue,biding time and when she's least expectinhg it ,it will explode in her face.
when she's laughing at an inane joke cracked by a friend ,or is sprawled on her bed reading poetry that makes her smile,or basking in the winter sunshine just after a bath,the smell of shampoo not quiet gone ...it will wait till all her defenses are down and slowly sneak up on her and explode.