Of Shrinking Aims And Violets

Have never been a big fan of stretch targets. Hate the concept. As if the actual target (if you have one that is) isnt hard enough already , matters must be made more complicated by setting goal thats even further away! Well thats not me.


Had decided from pretty early on, not to want too much from life. And so far this policy had worked pretty well. Dont expect too much. Dont actually get too much. But thats alright. Its all good.

Figured the same should work for college. Set very very achievable goal And I might even "get" more than I asked for. I did actually. In more ways than one.


And of violets.
Am not soul-of-party. Am not star material(which is okay, really) But have never exactly been the wallflower either. Too much attention is unnerving. But none at all(!!!) is even more so.
I dont exist. Never did.

Stayed up all night and all we talked about was her and him. And how it won't work . And how she misses him. And how nice it is to be held. Just held.

No moping I'd thought. No using guy as crutch because i know it wont work. But oh must it always work? What's so wrong if it doesnt?

Clouds appear free of care
And carefree drift away.
But the carefree mind is not to be found
To find it, first stop looking around.

Wang An Shih

pujo asche. yay! will mope no more.

the worst bit about this wallowing-in-self-pity-my-cup-runneth-over thing? am not fun anymore. i used to be fun before (err i dunno...i think i was. was i?) used to be capable of conversation/shared laughter/giggly-schoolgirl-bonding . i wasnt whiny before. i wasnt someone you'd roll your eyes at and say "god! snap out of it already!" and thats another thing. everyone's too kind to say so. why? what the fuck do they think i'll do?

count my blessings, i will . there is a lot to be thankful for. like the fact that the waistline has gone back to the 8th std waistline. its actually two sizes smaller!! yippeee!!!

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Third Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	High
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very Low
Level 7 (Violent)	High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	Low

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test